I'm Martin Miller and lots of people say I should be leader of the Labour Party! They're so close to my way of thinking that they talk just like me and use the same computer. There's Stephen Alexander, David Lindsay and lots of other people with fake names. No one will ever know that it's me!
That way I can pretend to have lots of books out soon and that Cabinet ministers write to me. Unfortunately some impudent wagamuffins contacted the Daily Telegraph to point out that I was a thick liar! How disgraceful! Just because I claimed to be a lecturer at Durham when I'm really a milk monitor and I faked job references under a false name!
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